


5 Times Peter Didn't Cry & 1 Time He Did

by posterchild



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Amputee Peter Parker, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Peter Parker, Ben Parker is Bad, Dead May Parker (Spider-Man), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fever, Fluff, Gen, Guilt, Hurt Peter Parker, Hurt/Comfort, I love May, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Infection, Light Angst, Mentioned Ben Parker, Mentions of Skip Westcott, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Peter Parker Gets a Hug, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Peter Snaps, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Post-Spider-Man: Homecoming, Precious Peter Parker, Prosthetic Arm, Protective Tony Stark, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, sorry - Freeform, the Ferry Incident
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29985951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/posterchild/pseuds/posterchild
Summary: When Tony met Peter Parker he didn't know how to handle the kid. In all the time Tony's known Peter he's never seen him cry. Not when Tony took the suit, not when Peter turned to dust, not when May died. Not even when Peter took the gauntlet and snapped everything back to normal.
Relationships: Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe) & Tony Stark, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Peter Parker & Pepper Potts, Peter Parker & Pepper Potts & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe) & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Pepper Potts & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 5
Kudos: 287





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Whoa, it's been a long time since I wrote anything; 2016 to be exact.
> 
> I've fallen hard into this fandom. This is my first work in it. I wrote it mostly in one day, immediately after finishing an assignment. Now I'm going to go sleep for a few days!
> 
> I don't have a beta, so if you spot any mistakes, please do let me know!

Tony likes to think he's a man in touch with his emotions. He smiles when he's happy and he cries when he's sad. Hell, usually he even cries when someone else (usually Morgan) is crying. Of course, things weren't always this way; it's taken a number of years for Tony to get to this point. He's not embarrassed about his growth; his masculinity is firmly intact and he's okay with where he is.

When Tony met Peter Parker he'd noticed the obvious things like physical appearance (and how can someone so _tiny_ possibly be so strong, spider bite or not), but he also notices just how _high strung_ Peter is. Peter is all bright smiles and doe eyes, but he's coiled tight, almost vibrating out of his skin and endearingly uncoordinated, like he's not quite sure how he fits in his own body.

Tony is overwhelmed with the urge to simultaneously gather the kid in a hug and swear his undying protection, and the urge to shove him away at a distance in case the kid starts crying all over Tony's suit. Tony's not sure how he feels about it all, but if there's one thing he's no good at, it's other people's emotions. It's not like Howard Stark imparted any knowledge of dealing with other people, and Tony's no stranger to making a quick escape when someone is in danger of leaking their feelings all over the place. The point is, when Tony met Peter Parker he didn't know how to handle the kid; even when Peter smiles he looks one second away from some kind of meltdown, but in all the time Tony's known Peter, he's never seen him cry, and after a while it starts to freak him out.

\--

Tony is so angry. He'd _told_ Peter to stay away from this vulture guy. He'd _told_ Peter that he'd handle it, and he was, but the dumb kid couldn't help himself, and he'd nearly gotten a bunch of people killed. He'd nearly gotten himself killed.

Peter stands before him, mask fisted in his hand and shaking so hard Tony isn't sure how the kid is standing straight. Peter's cheeks are red and he's shouting. Tony doesn't think he's ever heard Peter shout like this before.

"If you even cared, you'd actually be here." Peter spits.

_That's it._ Tony steps out of the Iron Man suit and forces Peter to back up a few steps. Peter looks nervous now, but Tony can see a spark of defiance in his face. _This fucking kid_ , Tony thinks. Peter's lips are pressed tightly together, and Tony wonders how long Peter can go on before he breaks down.

Tony isn't even sure what he says to Peter, but he can see the kid deflating and he thinks _this is it. This is where he breaks._ But Peter keeps his gaze, muttering shakily, "I just wanted to be like you."

"And I wanted you to be better." Tony sighs. Peter looks away like he's been slapped and Tony needs to get out of there. He needs to get away before he says something to push Peter over the edge.

Peter's eyes are still somehow dry as he stumbles over apologies, and Tony can't deal with this anymore.

"Okay, it's not working out. I'm gonna need the suit back."

Tony thinks this _must_ be it, when Peter starts to beg, and it's not like he wants to make Peter cry, he can't think of much worse, but Peter isn't ready for this. He needs to protect Peter, even if that means protecting him from himself. Tony needs to end this now.

"If you're nothing without the suit, then you shouldn't have it."

Peter slumps like his strings have been cut. He's still pale and shaking, but all at once the fight leaves his face and he looks lost. He doesn't cry, just lets Tony pull him away to find something for him to wear home.

Much later when Tony's putting the Spider-Man suit back in his lab he blows out a breath, thinking back on their exchange. He's surprised; Peter hadn't reacted the way Tony would expect at all. He'd expected screaming and crying, but he has to admit that Peter handled things more maturely. He shuts the lab lights off, vowing to keep a closer eye on Peter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not expressly mentioned, but after the whole Homecoming thing (what even is Homecoming? I should look that up) Tony totally takes Peter on as a proper intern. Plenty of lab time, etc. Also, at this point the rogues are still on the run or whatever. They don't feature in the story, but I'll be mentioning them again in later notes.


	2. 2

Tony doesn't know what's going on. One second they're there and the next everyone around him is disintegrating into dust. Is he next? _What's happening?!_

"Mister Stark..?" Tony turns to face Peter, who's stumbling towards him, "I don't feel so good…"

_No… No._ Tony can't- not Peter, _anyone but Peter._

"You're all right?" Tony says, but he knows. It's no good. This is the worst possible thing.

"I don't know what's - I don't know what's happening. I don't-" Peter babbles. He looks fucking terrified and Tony hates it. This shouldn't be happening, not to Peter. _Take me instead. Just not him. Don't take him._

Peter collapses into Tony's arms and they slump down together. Peter grabs at Tony, fingers scrabbling against his back. It's taking longer than the others. With a start, Tony realises, Peter's healing factor.

It must be agonising; Peter's body is trying to heal itself as it's being torn apart, but it can't heal itself fast enough.

"I don't wanna go, I don't wanna go, Mr. Stark, please. Please, I don't wanna go. I don't wanna go…" Peter begs into Tony's neck. Peter falters and Tony lays him down. There's nothing he can do. He's helpless.

"I'm sorry." Peter whispers. Tony rubs his thumb under Peter's eye, trying to catch tears that aren't falling. Peter looks sick with terror, but Tony can see the worry in Peter's face; the worry that Tony will be alone on this God forsaken planet. _God damn it, Pete, I'm so sorry._

Peter's gone and Tony pitches forward from the loss of Peter's weight. The horror is a thick ball in his throat, a heavy weight in his stomach. He thinks he might be sick. He balls his hands into fists and grounds them into the dirt, letting hot tears leak from his eyes. He's never felt failure like this. He doesn't think he can get over this.

\--

Tony never does get over what happened on Titan. He gets back to Earth and finds Pepper thank God. Pepper gets pregnant and after the crushing guilt dissipates, Tony is finally ready to move forward.

\--

Morgan is perfect. She's everything Tony hoped his daughter could ever be. He learns more about himself in four years than he ever has before. She's small and mischievous and Spider-Man is her favourite super hero. Tony tells her bedtime stories about her big brother Peter who was bitten by a spider and climbs walls and looks after the little people. Tony refuses to let Peter truly die, so he remembers him. He tells Morgan as much as he can about Peter, and she falls in love the same way Tony had. Pepper hangs a photo of Tony and Peter in the kitchen. Tony can't look at it.

Every night, Morgan asks if she'll get to meet Peter soon. It makes Tony ache terribly, it makes him want to make promises he knows he can't keep.

"Maybe one day, Maguna."

Tony stands in the kitchen washing dishes. He thinks Peter would love to see this, hopes Peter would be proud of the man Tony has become. Tony looks up, the photo of him and Peter catching his eye. He sighs; it's going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so in this story, Tony never sells the tower. He considers it, but Pepper talks him out of it. She thinks Tony's being impulsive in wanting to sell it, and secretly always believed the Avengers would reassemble. After the snap, the remaining heroes end up patching things up and they do in fact end up living back at the tower. At the end of this chapter, Tony and Pepper are at the lake house, where they spend most weekends.


	3. 3

Tony thought he'd known fear. He thought he'd felt true terror when he was captured in Afghanistan. He thought he'd stared fear in the eyes when he was falling from the wormhole in Midtown. He thought he'd choked down fear when Peter turned to dust in his arms. He thought he'd truly conquered fear when Pepper had announced she was pregnant and he'd shoved it away to sweep her up and spin her around with joy.

None of that would ever compare to this moment. Tony feels like he's never come close to this fear, this absolute heart-stopping terror.

The battle had been going well. Thanos was giving everything he had, but the Avengers were ready. Captain Marvel had been racing towards the Quantum Tunnel, gauntlet in hand when Thanos had spotted her, throwing his sword and decimating the van, throwing her backwards leaving the gauntlet unprotected.

Tony's mind is blank as he spies Thanos advancing on the gauntlet and he gets up in hopes of beating him to it. But just as Thanos is about to grab it, a red and blue blur rushes past and the gauntlet is gone. Their heads whip around to see Peter standing alone in front of the ruined compound, clutching the gauntlet to his chest, panting.

Peter surveys the scene quickly. Captain Marvel is trying to get to him, but she's surrounded by Thanos' troops and Tony knows Thanos will get to Peter first. Tony knows he cannot allow this to continue. He fires up the blasters in his suit and rushes Thanos, smashing his fist into Thanos' cheek at full speed. He grabs Thanos' shoulders as Thanos lands hard on the dirt. Tony wastes no time in landing his fists wherever he can, buying Captain Marvel as much time as possible.

When Thanos is sufficiently stunned Tony turns around to look at Peter. Peter's eyes are wide, mouth agape, terrified. Captain Marvel is still fighting, but it seems that for every enemy she defeats, two more take their place. Peter's mouth snaps closed and he looks down at the gauntlet.

Unbridled terror claws its way up Tony's throat, stealing his breaths. He knows what's about to happen, and he can't- _he can't-_

Peter slips his hand into the gauntlet and it shrinks down to accommodate him. White light shoots up from his wrist to his shoulder and he falls to his knees, gripping his arm, teeth gritted around an agonised shout. Tony jumps up and starts moving but he knows it's too late. He's too late.

When the light dissipates Peter pushes himself into a stand and looks at Thanos, who has stood up groggily. Peter's shoulders are back, his head held high, shaking harder than Tony's ever seen him, but his cheeks miraculously dry.

"You can't have them." Peter breathes, and snaps his fingers.

Nothing happens for a moment and Tony thinks something must have gone wrong, but in the next moment Thanos looks around as his army falters and starts to disintegrate into dust. Thanos falls to his knees, face expressionless as he too, starts to float away into the wind.

Time feels stuck as Tony stares at Peter. He feels rooted to the spot as Peter paws ineffectually at the gauntlet, trying to get it off. Tony springs into action, speeding to Peter and catching him as he falls forward. Peter lays on his back gasping for air, his burned arm curled up towards Tony. Tony takes the gauntlet and gently slips it off, throwing it behind him. His heart beats wildly in his ears as he faintly hears people calling for medical assistance, but all he can do is run his hand over Peter's hair and try to keep Peter calm with a litany of _you did so good, Pete. You were amazing. I can't believe how brave you are. You're gonna be okay. We're gonna take care of you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There might be glaring inconsistencies regarding Endgame here. I tried to keep it as accurate to the original canon as possible, while changing major elements (who snapped, for example).
> 
> I was going to watch Infinity War and Endgame to remind myself what happened, but I ended up looking through the story on the Wikia and using transcripts of the movies. I find it difficult to sit through movies.


	4. 4

It's been just over a month since Peter had snapped his fingers and returned half the world's population. Things have been hectic; hospitals have been overrun with patients as people returned in the middle of traffic, in places they shouldn't have been, even on airplanes on a completely different flight to the one they'd boarded. Many people had nowhere to go after their homes had been sold or demolished. People were returning to families with new children, or younger siblings who were now older than them. It's complete chaos.

None of this particularly matters to Tony, who's spent the last month in a Wakandan hospital overlooking Peter's care. The doctors and nurses have done an incredible job; Peter has spent most of the month asleep, but they'd managed to synthesize sedatives and painkillers to combat Peter's metabolism within a couple of days, and Peter looks far better now than he had when they first arrived.

Peter is asleep now on his side, an oxygen mask fitted over his nose and mouth. A thin layer of sweat covers his brow and Tony uses a cloth to wipe cool water across Peter's face, careful not to disturb the bandages covering the burns running down from Peter's temple. Peter's eyes flit under his eyelids and Tony sighs. An infection had set in Peter's arm hours ago and Peter's fever had been steadily rising since; it's nowhere near dangerous levels yet, but Tony can't help but feel concern settling in behind his ribs. The doctors had tried to remain optimistic that Peter's arm would heal, but infection was always a possibility, and Tony isn't surprised it's happened, knowing Peter's infamous "Parker luck".

Peter sighs and the fingers on his undamaged hand twitch minutely. Tony passes the cloth over Peter's cheek before setting it off to the side and curling his fingers into Peter's hand. Peter will wake up soon, and it helps if someone is touching him when he comes around.

It's only been a minute or so until Peter shifts his legs and pulls in a breath, opening his eyes and following the sight of Tony's hand up to Tony's face.

"Hey, kid. How're you feeling?" Tony asks. The smile on his face seems brittle at best. Peter extracts his hand to move the oxygen mask away, then returns it to Tony's.

Peter pulls in a shuddering breath. "Okay. Bit warm. Arm hurts." Peter looks exhausted, sick. Tony hates it, wants to scream or cry or turn back time and get to that gauntlet himself.

"Yeah?" Tony asks instead, "You want me to ask them for more pain meds?"

Peter shakes his head and swallows hard, "No, I'm okay. Just- just stay? Tell me something about Morgan."

Tony feels a little useless in this hospital, and feeling useless makes him feel out of control, but of course Peter seems to know this. Throws out simple requests that Tony can provide for.

"Of course," Tony says with a smile, "You'll meet her soon, Pete. Did I ever tell you about the time Morgan challenged Happy to a cheeseburger eating contest?"

\--

Doctors and nurses are running through the corridors, shouting orders and wheeling equipment around. Tony is awoken by Pepper shaking him roughly and telling him to get up, "It's Peter- oh God, Tony, his arm!"

Tony sprints from his room to Peter's in record time, Pepper hot on his heels.

Peter is thrashing in the bed, surrounded by doctors holding him down. He's screaming and Tony is stopped at the door by a doctor looking grim.

"The infection is getting worse. We are trying to stabilize him but we are concerned his arm is becoming septic. We are running out of options." The doctor is calm, but loud over the chaos behind him. Tony thinks he might be sick.

"Are you saying he has to lose the arm?" Tony asks. _Oh God, please no_ Tony thinks. The doctor nods, pressing his lips together tightly, "What about Peter?" Tony shouts, "Have you asked him?"

Tony pushes past the doctor and curls over Peter, grabbing Peter's good hand and pulling it to his chest.

"Pete- Peter- your arm- they're saying-"

Peter's teeth are clenched, grinding against each other. His eyes find Tony and they look crazed with fever, but Tony can see steely determination as well. How is he not crying right now?

"You've gotta let them do it," Peter groans, "Let them take the arm. Don't let me die, Tony. I need to meet Morgan. It's just an arm; I can live without it."

Tony bends down, pressing his lips to Peter's forehead. When Tony pulls back he feels like he's crying enough for the both of them. Peter's obviously terrified and hurting, but damn it, he's so fucking strong.

"You've lost so much, Pete." Tony sobs; he feels like a child, feeling emotions too big for him to handle.

"I don't care," Peter pants, "I don't care. I just got back, I don't wanna go."

He'd said that before, hadn't he? When he was on Titan. Tony nods, breathes out an okay and turns back to the doctors. Gives his consent.

The medical staff jump into motion, whisking Peter away to surgery. Tony shakes and shakes until he's pushed into a chair. He can't believe this. He can't believe this is happening. He can't breathe- he can't- he can't _breathe_.

Tony yelps as he feels a sharp pain in his- little finger? He pulls in a gasp and Pepper's guilty face swims into vision. "What-?"

Pepper has Tony's little finger squeezed gently between her finger and thumb and she bears down. Pain shoots through Tony's finger again and he pulls it away sharply.

"Sorry," Pepper soothes, taking Tony's hands back into hers. She rubs her thumbs over his knuckles gently, "You were hyperventilating."

"That's- okay. Good." Tony stammers, "How'd you learn to do that?"

Pepper smiles, wry. "Peter taught me."

\--

Hours later Tony sits beside Peter's bed again, extracting information from Peter's suit to send to Shuri, who upon hearing Peter was losing his arm, offered to produce a prosthetic. Tony had jumped at the offer, thanking her profusely and promising to send over whatever data she needed to get started as soon as possible.

He obtains Peter's measurements from the suit quickly and sends it over, excited to be able to actually do something to help. Pepper is curled up in a chair on Peter's other side asleep with Peter's hand curled in hers protectively.

Tony shoots messages back and forth with Shuri, discussing potential ideas for the arm. He starts a list and starts jotting down plausible suggestions; built in web shooters, Swiss army knife tools and small storage areas make the list before Tony realises there probably isn't a way they'll be able to make the arm stick to surfaces. Tony pushes back the spike of grief that comes with this realisation. He's sure Peter will be able to scale walls, even with three limbs. Peter's the strongest kid he knows; if anyone can come out of this, it's Peter.

Peter screws his face up and opens his eyes blearily. Tony abandons his Starkpad to take Peter's hand as Peter tries to bat the nasal cannula away.

"Pete, kiddo. You shouldn't even be awake yet," Tony breathes, "Are you okay? Are you in any pain?"

Peter squeezes Tony's hand in his and smiles dopily.

"S'good. No pain. Arm's gone?"

"God damn it, kid. How are you so tough, huh?" Tony asks, tearing up. All this crying makes him feel like a wrung-out flannel.

Peter grips Tony's hand tight. "Tony, the arm doesn't matter. I was gone for five years. I can't waste any more time away from the people I love. If that means I have to give up an arm, or Spider-Man then I will."

Tony sobs, bringing Peter's hand to his mouth and pressing a kiss to the knuckles, "You're a God damned hero, Peter Parker, you know that? Spider-Man's got nothing on you."

Peter huffs out a sleepy laugh, "Iron Man was always my favourite, anyway."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I originally never intended for Peter to lose his arm, then when I decided to do it, I thought there would be no way Peter wouldn't cry about it unless he decided it would be for the best. I think at one point I was going to have Tony beg Peter to let them take it, but it pretty much ended up being the opposite of that.
> 
> Tony here knows Peter doesn't live with his parents, but they've never spoken about where his parents are or why they're not around; he just concludes they're out of the picture when he meets Peter and May.
> 
> Morgan goes to stay at the tower when this part is happening. She's being looked after by the remaining heroes and Happy, although Doctor Strange offers to let Pepper portal to and from the tower whenever she wants (he likes Pepper a lot because she keeps Tony in line, mostly. He also secretly likes Peter, and of course adores Morgan).


	5. 5

"We have to tell him, Tony," Pepper stresses, "It's been long enough."

Tony sighs. He knows Pepper is right, but he really doesn't want to have this conversation, not when things are going so well.

Peter's new arm had been ready within days; designed between Peter and Tony and built by Shuri herself. Peter had been overjoyed, of course, and Tony had felt as proud as he had with every milestone Morgan had met, like a proud dad. But they'd been here for just over six weeks and Tony knew Peter knew something was going on.

"What if it sets him back?" Tony asks, wiping a hand down his face, "He's doing so well. I don't want to pull the rug from under him now."

"There's never going to be a good time to tell him," Pepper replies softly, "But you know he's been asking to use a phone. He needs to hear it from us before he finds out by reading it online or something."

_Damn it._ Tony knows Pepper is right- Pepper's always right.

"Just- it's- how much pain can one kid endure?" Tony asks, "When's he gonna get a fucking break?"

Pepper looks impossibly sad, "All we can do is be there for him. The paperwork's all drawn up. All we need are signatures."

Tony steels himself. _Okay. I can do this._

\--

Peter smiles when Tony and Pepper enter the room and Tony tries to smile back, but it's forced and Tony is terrified that Peter can tell. They sit on either side of the bed, Tony taking Peter's flesh hand and Pepper taking his prosthetic.

"Peter, we gotta talk," Tony starts, blows out a breath, _Fuck._ "There's something we need to tell you-"

"May's dead." Peter says.

Tony's eyes snap to Peter's. Peter's mouth is pulled into a frown and his eyes are sad, but he looks more worried for Tony, which what the fuck.

"That's what you were gonna say, right?" Peter asks shakily.

"I'm sorry, Peter." Pepper says gently, "After the first snap, she was on the bus to work and the driver… It all happened really quickly."

"How did you know?" Tony asks. Peter looks down at his lap and Tony thinks, _This is it_. _Thank fuck Pepper is here for this. I don't know how to deal with this._ Morgan's tears he can deal with; she's four, she cries all the time. Tony has never seen Peter cry, and he thinks it might actually break his heart.

But when Peter looks back up his cheeks are still dry. Tony doesn't understand. Peter blows out a breath.

"I've been here a while. If she were around she'd be here."

Tony doesn't get it. Peter should be screaming, crying, angry at them for not saying anything. Not stoic and calm and so, so _strong_.

It's almost as if Peter reads Tony's mind, "I understand why you didn't tell me until now. I've known for a while, but I'm still glad you told me. I'm sorry you had to."

"Oh, Peter." Pepper bursts into tears, "I'm sorry, I'm _so_ sorry."

Peter reaches over and procures a tissue for Pepper, which just makes her cry harder. Tony can't with this kid.

"What- uh, what's going to happen to me now?" Peter asks. His voice is small and a little frightened.

"That's pretty much up to you, Pete." Tony replies, "If you have someone you wanna live with, we can contact them for you- family, maybe?"

Peter shakes his head, "May was the last-" He cuts himself off, but holds it together. Tony feels slightly guilty that he's relieved.

"In that case," Tony continues, "We have adoption papers ready to go, just waiting for you to sign."

Peter pales and Tony thinks he's said something wrong, "Only if you want to!" Tony interjects quickly, "If not, we can figure something else out, whatever you want."

"It's not that!" Peter exclaims, "You've- you've done so much for me! I can't ask you for this as well. You shouldn't have to-!"

Pepper sobs loudly. Manically, Tony wonders how much Pepper's spent on the makeup she's wearing; it hasn't run at all.

"Peter, we want to adopt you," Pepper chokes out, "We really want you to be our kid, more than you already are."

Tony nods, "Will you be our kid, Pete? Will you be our son?"

Peter lets out a loud relieved laugh, "Yes," Peter breathes, "Thank you, I really want that."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Every story idea I've had for this fandom so far has May dead, which is weird, because I really love the newest version of May. I have an idea based around the idea of how Peter might grieve in the event of coming back to find out May's dead, but when I lost a parent I was a bit older than sixteen and I didn't go through a 'traditional' grieving process, so I'm a little nervous about it coming out inaccurate. I know not everyone grieves the same, but if it doesn't make any sense it's not good.
> 
> I like the idea in this that Peter knew about it already though. He's a smart kid, and I guess he doesn't want Tony and Pepper to have the pressure of telling him the worst thing he could possibly hear.


	6. +1

Tony paces back and forth at the end of the bed, Pepper watching bemused.

"I just don't understand, Pep. He's been here three weeks already. He's gotta crack at some point. You know I've never seen him cry? Not even once?"

Pepper shrugs from the bed as she brushes her hair, "If he does, he knows where we are. We just need to trust that he'll come to us if he needs to."

Tony deflates. He trusts Peter, he does, he just knows that bottling up emotions isn't healthy; he'd done it for years and it had led him down a dark path. He does not want the same for Peter. He won't allow it.

He's broken out of his thoughts by a soft knock on the bedroom door and Morgan popping her head around the frame.

"Daddy, can you read me a story?" Morgan asks timidly. Tony smiles and leads Morgan to her bedroom.

Morgan insists on a Spider-Man story. _All these books I've bought_ Tony laments to himself, but settles in anyway.

"So once upon a time, Spider-Man was trapped under a whole building…"

\--

Once the story is over Morgan insists on another, but Tony simply holds her close with a chuckle.

"You really love Spider-Man, don't you?" he asks. Morgan nods hard.

"I love Peter and Peter is Spider-Man, so I love Spider-Man." she declares easily, warming Tony's chest.

"Yeah, I love Peter too."

"Sometimes Peter is really sad, so I hug him like you or Mommy hug me when I'm sad." Morgan says as she arranges a soft toy in her bed. Tony frowns.

"Peter's sad?" Tony asks, bewildered.

"Yeah, at night," Morgan nods along, "So I wipe his face and hug him real hard until he stops crying. He gives good hugs, even though he's sad."

_Huh._ Tony thinks and makes a decision. _Tomorrow I'll talk to him about it._

\--

Tony wakes to his dark bedroom, unsure what woke him up. He's no stranger to nightmares, but that's not it tonight. He's careful not to wake Pepper as he slips out of bed and heads to the kitchen for some water.

He stops dead at the kitchen doorway when he sees the lights are on, but what really catches his eye is Peter sat at the breakfast bar wiping away uncontrollable tears, his other hand pressed firmly against his mouth to keep himself quiet.

Tony moves further into the room silently, but Peter hears him anyway, his head snapping up, wide-eyed.

"Oh- Tony- I- Sorry!" Peter stammers, furiously wiping at his eyes, "Did I wake you? I'm sorry. I'll stop-"

"Pete, what?" Tony asks, confused, "You didn't wake me. Why are you here alone?"

Now Peter looks confused, "I'm- you shouldn't see me like this. I just- I can't stop- I'm sorry."

"I shouldn't-? I'm confused," Tony says, "Why shouldn't I see you cry? Who told you that?"

Peter curls in on himself, covering his eyes with his hands.

"It's normal, right? Men aren't supposed to cry in front of other men." Now Tony's really confused. He grips Peter's wrists gently and pulls his hands away from his face.

"Kiddo, that's not true. Where did you even get that idea from?"

"My uncle Ben," Peter replies as Tony lifts a tissue to dab at Peter's eyes. They're rubbed red raw. Tony gets himself and Peter a glass of water and shepherds Peter into the living room and onto the sofa, sitting on the coffee table to face him.

"Pete, kid. That's not right. When did he tell you that? What else did he tell you?"

Peter's tears seem to have stopped, but he looks impossibly small now, trying to curl his hands into himself. Tony grabs them both in his; for once, Tony needs to be the strong one.

"When I was six, my parents died in a plane crash," Peter says quietly, "May and Ben took me in, even though they never wanted kids, and I just cried all the time. Ben said that men aren't supposed to cry in front of other men, that if he'd cried to his work friends he'd get kicked off the police force."

Tony feels a pit opening up where his stomach should be. _What the fuck?_

"So you never cried in front of him? Ever?"

"Oh, no I did, one time." Peter replies. His eyes are glassy again, "When I was- when I was nine. I had this baby-sitter, Skip. He um… He… hurt me. A lot." Tony feels sick. He was wrong- Peter had endured much more pain than Tony thought he could imagine.

"Did he-?" Peter nods, jarring the tears out. He doesn't try to wipe them away this time.

"He... raped me. He did it for two years before I broke down and told. May was upset. Really upset. Ben was angry. He said- he said I shouldn't have let it happen. A real man wouldn't have let it happen."

Peter sobs through gritted teeth and Tony can't believe this. He tugs Peter up and crushes him in a hug. _This kid_ , he thinks as he sits them both down on the sofa, curling himself around Peter, as if he can protect him from the shit he's already gone through. He's taking as much comfort from Peter as he's trying to give. He can feel himself shaking hard, grief overtaking him. He buries his face in Peter's hair and lets himself cry.

Tony cries for all the times Peter felt like he couldn't. He cries for all the times Peter must have felt like he was alone and hurt and scared. He never wants Peter to feel like that again. He won't stand for it.

"Peter, what your uncle said was wrong. He was wrong. I've been so worried about you, thinking you weren't processing everything, but you've felt like you've had to do it alone. You're not alone anymore, buddy. I want you to share your tears with me, okay? And Pepper. Your sadness is our sadness and we want to share it with you, do you understand?"

Peter nods, turning himself around and burying his face in Tony's shoulder. Tony feels Peter shake apart in his arms and he tightens his hold as Peter lets himself sob. Tony holds him tight as he lets himself grieve for everything he's lost, everything he's missed.

Eventually their tears stop and they pull away from each other. They take in each other's blotchy faces and can't help but laugh. It feels like a pressure relief and Tony cups Peter's head gently as he pulls Peter back in.

"This doesn't make you weak," Tony assures, "You're the strongest God damned person I know. I want you to trust us with your feelings. We're always gonna support you."

Peter lets out a _pfft_ as he settles into Tony's side, "What happened to you, man? 'Trust us with your feelings'?"

Tony barks out a laugh, "What can I say, kid? I've changed. I've got a family now."

They peel themselves up from the sofa and Tony pulls Peter to his and Pepper's bedroom, pausing to scoop up a sleeping Morgan on the way. Pepper's awake when they return and they all pile into the bed together. It's a tight squeeze, but they make it work. Tony wraps himself around Peter's back and Peter holds onto Morgan who unconsciously squishes herself against Pepper.

Tony's dozing when he feels Pepper reach over to wipe at Peter's face gently. Tony starts as he realises Peter is crying again, but Peter waves him off with a wet chuckle.

"Sorry, they're happy tears, I promise." Peter whispers, "I'm just really, really happy."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not really relevant, but after the hospital they brought Peter to the lake house, thinking he was going to "crack" under the weight of everything in a fairly explosive manner. I guess he does break down in the end, but it's pretty well contained.
> 
> I don't think we know anything about Ben in the newer Spider-Man movies, so I thought I'd change him up a bit here. I don't necessarily think Ben is a bad person, so much as perhaps his ideas of what a man should be are somewhat archaic? That said, just because he was in the police force doesn't mean he had to be a "manly man". Maybe his parents were like that, I dunno.
> 
> \--
> 
> Thanks for reading! I appreciate you so, so much and I really hope you enjoyed what I've put out here.
> 
> I don't have Tumblr and I like to remain anonymous here, so this is the only place I ever post stories (I do have an old Fanfiction.net account, but I don't remember my username or anything).
> 
> Comments are appreciated, but not required (and I always forget to reply to them, but I promise I read every single one). Kudos let me know you liked the story and I super appreciate them too!
> 
> Thanks again! -- Emery


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